Monday, July 31, 2006

To blog, or not to blog, shrug

Saturday night after the girls got to sleep, I had my laptop at home to catch up on some work, so, of course, sat their like a huge potato zombie and clicked through adoption blogs. I can't even remember why or which one was the first one I clicked into, but once you get into them, it's like quick sand, one blog leads to more links, leads to more blogs and more personal information than I thought I ever wanted to know, but apparently, I want to know because I just sat there clicking and reading and clicking and reading for way way way too long.

Some of these folks are very entertaining. They can make me want to read about the fourth diaper bag and gazillionith Baby Gap "drooly" outfit that bought that day. Some aren't so entertaining and I want to say, oh, put a sock in it. I am fascinated by the whole phenomenon. They have audiences, they write to please their audiences, they are pleased when they please their readers, they keep track of comments, they are hurt when no one comments, they know the lingo, they have the time, they respond to email, they make e-friends, they post controversial opinions and don't seem to get offended when they get negative comments, to the contrary they seem to relish the opportunity to lash back, they can manipulate the webhost site with neat things that flash and link video clips. I am too middle-aged, I am unworthy, I cannot keep up with that kind of "competition."

I can report, that's easy enough, when I was in China and observing and regurgitating my thoughts. But I've been home with Nora for over six months and the difficult work of parenting a child you weren't expecting her to be and attaching to that small fully formed and often annoying little human, that is hard, very hard to write about. But, I'm thinking, could writing about it help me accomplish the task better? Would it keep me honest when I slack off, when I'm supposed to be doing my "homework" with Nora, but I just would rather watch reality tv? I'm just wondering out loud because, apparently, that's what people who blog do, they wonder outloud. Let me think about it. Older child adoption is of great interest to a lot of people, I just don't know if I have anything to say that would be helpful, enlightening or comment worthy.


Anonymous said...


Are you kidding?? (or as my teens would IM: "ru kidding moi??").

OF course you should blog about this!! Or if you don't want to do that, just email me with updates periodically.

Not only do I care about older child adoption issues, I care about hip and cool single moms who adopt hurricanes named Nora!!

Seriously, you are an admirable example of following one's heart and dreams (even if you do occasionally walk on the potato-side of life with too mcuh internet and too much reality TV).

You have made and are making (as I type) a difference in others' lives!

Blog away, Marji, blog away! I'll read *and* comment!

Darlene in CA said...

Of course blog! I check this place all the time looking for an update on the Hanson girls! I should talk, I can barely get a blog entry up once a month and I've only got one little whirlwind. But I'm trying to do better.

What you have to say is interesting and honest and I always have always loved your posts. And how can I resist hearing updates on Lulu's Guilin cousin Nora?

Blog, blog, blog, I say!

Calico Sky said...

I want to say (not sure if you get your comments email to you, so you may not get this since it is such an old post) but I find you blog amazingly refreshing and normal. I had and adoption fall though and I could NO longer stand to read the posts about the 1 millionth baby gadget, the look what my fellow adoption pal sent me etc, it always drove me nuts BUT after the adoption fell through I realized that it wasn't healthy to be reading these blogs, I saw that if one got a new hobby it seemed like they all did and I saw that no matter how many challenges they were facing as adoptive parents they didn't blog about it. The best thing I did was walk away.
I've just started blogging again, it's small and I like it that way.
I too am a single, I was a foster parent to 4 wonderful children who I would of adopted, 2 that would of been a very real possibility but extended family was found. Now hoping to adopt & be successful this time.
I have to say that I really do agree with you about personality, level of need etc. While I have educated myself enormously (and have worked in the field teaching about fostering & adoption) I know I really lucked out with my 4, there was no challenge we couldn't meet. In other areas of my life there were bonus' too - I was able to work part time etc. Still I think I was naive, now as I'm about to start the adoption process (again) I'm scared. I hope to adopt siblings as I don't have family (I'm an only child) and want to ensure my children will always have each other, also with so many countries closing to singles I feel like this is a way to ensure that they have a sibling from their birth culture. But there isn't a day I'm not scared about finances, attachment (especially my attaching), RAD, FAE and the list goes on, even as someone who works in it, even as someone who had read extensively. So I thank you for having a real blog because they are the most meaningful!