Saturday, October 14, 2006

dot dot dot dash dash dash dot dot dot

or it could be dash dash dash dot dot dot dash dash dash, either way, the way I make a living blows and I wish the trees in my yard grew money instead of leaves and I could rake it up and put it in the big orange leaf bags the city used to provide for free (where did they go Rocky? where did they go?) and stay home and be calm. But, sadly, no this is not likely to happen.

Imagine this as last ditch message to the world found carved onto the walls of my office:

Help, so tired now, strength ebbing, many days no contact with real world -- only other lawyers, very discouraging, batteries running low, work sucking soul dry, no blogging, creative juices low, exhausted, must write only legal things, sucks bad, very bad . . . send help, sinking, sinking . . . .

I'm taking this ten minute break from the pile of shit on my desk and I can say shit because this is my blog dammit and that's how I talk when I have no impressionable ears nearby (the exception to the no shit rule around kids is whenever I pull things out of a cupboard or the fridge causing (a) fridge light bulbs to burst, (b) wine glasses to explode dramatically on the tiled floor, and/or (c) whole bottles of salsa or salad dressing to crash to the floor and BURST on contact spewing their contents over every farking (yeah, I'm too big of a sissy to actually type out he F word although you can be sure it is an active constituent of my cursing vocab) surface within five feet of the blast, as I sit here on a Saturday with the kids farmed out to my increasingly old parents (we just had the annual two day school holiday for UEA and once AGAIN, I had hearings/crap/what not and could not take time from the grind to be with them). They are all at the old folks' cabin in Bear Lake County that I have only seen once in the the five years I've been self-employed even though it is only 2.5 hours away. Sucks.

I promised myself that I could get back online with my insanity re: Nora only after I catch up with the huge amounts of imminent malpractice piling up at work like the trash around a storm drain after a big rain. I miss it, the writing keeps me saner, helps me reflect, surprises me that I like to write because the LAW had taken that away from me for so long. So the next time there is anything of substance on this blog, you will know that I am back on top of the hamster wheel, still running, never a break dammit, but at least I won't be clawing my way back of the under side of the wheel until it all piles up and happens again because it always does.


Anonymous said...


I've missed you, cyber-friend and now I know why.

Sucks to be you, as far as work goes. Un-farkin-believable that you couldn't share the break from school with them.

"Sadness. Pain. Chamber of the ages!" (quotes from an old Star Trek episode circa 196-something). Guess I'm a geek, huh?

Anyway. Glad to have you back, even for 10 minutes on a work break.

Something. Must. Give. Soon.

Praying. For. A. Miracle.

(from Iowa)

Amy said...

Hee hee... I'm glad I'm not the only one grumpy about work. I'm teaching an undergrad class at CU this year, and I have to say that while I yearn to be the kind of teacher that cares about students understanding of the material (and usually I really do care), it's been an effort to appear to give a, um... hoot lately. (It's not my blog, so I can't say shit.) :)

We're in the midst of fourier analysis and sine waves and decibels and basic physics, and all my students are thinking, "Wait, this is supposed to be speech and hearing science, not math!" and I have to say, "Welcome to reality, guys, and if I can do it so can you." I don't mind answering questions, in fact, I really like getting into this stuff, but when you get questions about how to divide (YES - how to do SIMPLE DIVISION) from a college student, it's a tad scary. And I have to pull my jaw up so it doesn't hit the floor and say, "That's why I let you use a calculator," when what I want to say is, "Do you need help from my fourth grader?" I'm about ready to say, "Just look it up. No, really. Look it up." Actually, if you'll loan me Ellie for a while, she and Sarah can tag team giving my college students a math review session.

Speaking of Ellie - we've chosen "Eleanor" as our new daughter's first name, and Zitao will be kept as a middle name. Your Ellie is an "Elizabeth," right? We're planning use Ella rather than Ellie as a nickname, if any - I'd rather just use the whole name of Eleanor, or Zitao if that's what she wants to be called. I know it really doesn't matter, but Jean was laughing about loving two Chinese Ellies in her life. I naturally said there would be an Ellie and an Ella, or an Ellie and an Eleanor, or an Ellie and a Zitao... but we won't be comparing Ellies here! I suppose we could shorten to Nora, but you have one of those, too. :) Or Nelly, but Nelly Nash sounds like someone from a Superman comic. Or Lor, like the evil twin of Data the android from Star Trek... only someone married to Dave would know that bit of valuable trivia (sure, I'll blame him). You can roll your eyes now.

Anyway, I'm posting here so I can procrastinate studying the Nernst equation for my neuroscience seminar. :) My kids will be home soon, and they're MUCH more fun than the Nernst equation.

Thank you for your sweet posts on my blog. It's really nice to be encouraged by someone that's BTDT. My neighbors are probably noticing my strange obsession with the mailbox... that I 171-H is supposed to be here now. Not that the USCIS seems to agree with me.... :)

Lots of love to you and the whole menagerie out there (dragons, rats, snakes, etc.) Your girls are growing up beautifully. We don't seem to get out to SLC as much lately, since Gamma Jean has been coming here instead. Sometime we'll make it out there and say hello! :)