Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Passive Agressive Mom

So, YuYu has a birthday party invitation for Thursday at 3:30, WTF? So, trying very hard to keep the incredulity and disdain out of my voice because I'm calling her from the center of my universe that crams dinner (both preparation and consumption), homework, reading, bathing, errands, lessons and life into the 2.5 hours between after-work pick-up and 8:30 bedtime, I call back to RSVP with regrets because, "I work full-time and cannot transport her to the party." Good thing I got the recorder given my attitude at the very moment I made that call. But what I was hoping for was a call back from the party mom to say, "Oh don't worry, I'll take her with me when I pick up party girl from school,” or, "Hey, mutual friend is also invited and I'm sure her mom wouldn't mind picking YuYu up at school too." But no, I'm too pissy to make those suggestions because I expect someone who chooses a weekday afternoon for a party to have considered the possibility that some of their little guests may have working parents and that they may need to provide those sweet deserving little girls who had the horrible misfortune of getting stuck in a family with working parents an alternative method of transportation. And, yes, I could have called and been more direct and put party mom on notice that I have irrational expectations and want to know how she planned to get my child to her child's party, but then she would know that I'm a jackass.
And here's how even-tempered and accepting my little YuYu can be: When I told her that she couldn't go to V's birthday party because I couldn't leave work to drive her there, she said, "okay."
And if you noticed the ooze sliding off your computer screen and onto your desk, don’t be alarmed, that’s just my single parent guilt dripping out of every corner of this post, I don’t think it’s infectious.


Anonymous said...

Picking this party time is wrong. What's wrong with people.
My PTA only meets in the middle of the day, so I cannot participate seeing how I work downtown and my school is in Sandy.

Amy said...

I'm sorry. Some people just don't get it (afternoon party schedulers are on the list of "some people"). Un-single mommies have the same guilt about working outside of the home. And the support is never really there - colleagues might think I'm flaky 'cause I prefer my little girls to spending time cooped up in a lab, and some stay-at-home nazis may decide that I have sacrificed my daughters to the almighty dollar (as if grad students make that much, anyway). Can't win. I'll probably be bringing Eleanor to work with me for a while, which I'm sure somebody will find something wrong with.

I did have fun responding to a recent Hospitality Committee e-mail (asking parents to provide the elementary school science fair judges with homemade dinner and baked goodies) - I said, "Sorry - I plan to be out of the country that day, so won't be able to make brownies." I hope it's actually true. :)

Anyway - you are a Good Mom. Get used to the idea. Wish we could come to SLC to have a schedule-friendly party with YuYu. (She probably wouldn't even remember us, though!) If we still lived in SLC, we'd take YuYu to the party for ya. We Evil Moms (oops - Good Moms. Remember - GOOD MOMS!) have to stick together.