Saturday, August 12, 2006

Comments

Teri in Iowa, thanks for the good anonymous advice (wink, wink) and for letting me know that you're concerned and keeping track of Nora and I. And to Amy and Kim, thank you so much for sharing your own insights to parenting because I'm blocked on this Nora thing and I do need to know what other, more thoughtful folks have discovered about parenting because I am not a more thoughtful folk. I've felt more like a good herd dog with the first three; guiding/pushing/herding around the edges of the flock because they intuitively know the right direction, they just need a wee yip or a yap from the left or right to keep them on the straight and narrow. With Nora, I feel like I need to put a saddle on her and ride her until she is exhausted and capitulates to my way of right until she can be legally emancipated and then all bets are off, she is society's burden at that point. I really do appreciate your concern and that you take the time to give me guidance and encouragement.
I so wish that Nora and I were better matched, I so wish that I liked her more, I so wish that this problem I have learning to love her was easier to solve, and so on, and so on, etc., etc., and if wishes were fishes, I'd have a fish fry. Yum, I love denial, where can I get some more. But sheesh, it is not going to get better by neglect, crap, I had been so hoping that ignoring the elephant in the room for the past seven months was the right ticket. I need to work at this, this being Nora's mom thing. I need to keep reminding myself that I need to work at this and if keeping this blog keeps me honest with myself, then there it is, a little public self-inflicted flogging is a small price to pay to improve myself because Nora deserves a fully invested parent who can love and appreciate her for who she is, all the energy, goofyness and gorgeousness and the in your face pouty spitting not fair kid who slips out too often and plays me like a xylophone.

2 comments:

Darlene in CA said...

PS - Lulu has huge feet too! When I got measurements from China, I thought, no, those can't be right. But they were. Soon we will be sharing shoes. Darlene

teri (from Iowa) said...

Hey Marji!!

The Hanson 6 is sooo schweet!! Love the Lucy dog. Any way to make "Lucy privileges" a part of Nora's positive behavior plan?

Hmmmmm? How does Nora get her revoked stuff outta jail? She should earn things back verrrry slowly (IMHO). I once stripped my son's room NAKED---except for his bed and bedding. He was 8 or so, I'm guessing and waay to big for his britches.

Only had to do that once (thankfully), but it took him weeks to earn back his things. He's almost (gasp) 18 now. YIKES!

Lastly, remember any input I give here is given as a known and admitted "WIZARD" who pretends to know how to parent, but has NEVER adopted a single, solitary child (much less 4!!).

My hat is off to you, Marji. May the fierceness with which you parent be the very thing that serves you best with Miss I'm Loud, Now Get Over It!

Affection from the Heartland to the Hansons!